NewAs the air-kisses smacked around me and the sound of strappy heels hit marble flooring; as the glasses clinked and the cries of “daaaahling” echoed about my head and the neon lights flickered in time to the expensive, imported DJ, where was I? Where was I last night, as the VIP attendees graced the glamorous venue with their glossy presence; as the girls in short dresses and guys in thick-rimmed glasses complimented one another on their coolness? What was I doing as the fashion show threatened to start, as the cocktails were poured in hurried measures and the greasy chicken satay sticks and mini salmon blinis on platters caught my nostrils, reminding me how hungry I was? Was I schmoozing with the masses, feigning interest in the downfall of another magazine, the success of another handbag, or the healing implications of jojoba berries? Was I befriending fellow media-luvvies in an effort to keep the freelance coming in the grip of an economic crisis, or reapplying my lip-plumping gloss in order to flash a thicker, shinier smile?
Nope. I was on a bar stool, reading a story.
As one by one, the venue filled up with fabulous people, I was lost in a world of legends and werewolves; running free through a little town called Forks, in which a human mortal falls irrevocably in love with a vampire. Last night, as I raised my head from the pages, blinked in a swirl of lights and lipstick kisses, hot designer dresses and dashing media moguls constituting “reality”, I came to the shocking realization that life as I know it has changed. Things will never be the same again, now that I’ve entered Twilight.
Perhaps no one even noticed I was there at all, let alone that I was reading a book. Such are the crowds that things this dull don’t register. Perhaps those who did notice, didn’t realize that the book in question, the novel so rudely keeping me from conversation was aimed at teenagers in the schoolyard, not a 29 year old, sitting in a bar under invitation.
It’s weird. Even to me. Not since I was seven, when I first discovered Enid Blyton have I locked myself away so much inside a story. Not since I scanned page after page of The Secret Seven by torchlight have I wanted to lose myself completely in another world. But right now I would rather be in this world this place where time ticks differently; where urban legends leak into everyday life and where love has the prospect of lasting an eternity. Yes it’s cheesy, and some of the dialogue is trite, and the fact that it’s written by a Mormon makes the female lead seem as reliant on male arms around her as the human race is on oxygen, but that doesn’t matter. I want a vampire in my life. I want my own marble-chested bloodsucker to fly me to the treetops, crash his steely hands into oncoming Dubai traffic and fight vicious werewolves on my behalf.
Thanks to Twilight, I want to be seventeen again, like Bella, to say all the right things to boys, like she does. To go against the grain instead of following my peers like a faithful sheep and to stumble on true, unconditional love where I least expect it. I want to be in the throes of an adventurous love-story, a triangle perhaps, in which good will conquer evil and to be human doesn’t necessarily make you the smartest living creature on the block. If only this world existed, I would spend every day there. Rather than sipping cocktails with mortals in flashy neon bars, I would dance the edge of sanity for a brief encounter with a vampire. I would breathe his heady scent in spite of knowing his irresistible fragrance is nothing but a mask for his undead persona, a predator’s tool to reel me in and maybe change me for the better? I would laugh in the face of limits and boundaries, leap at full speed into the unknown, lie in every meadow with my stone cold lover, even though I knew he could never really “love” me. That, I think, would be a small price to pay while I was human. We’d make up for it later.
I’m aware this obsession may be getting out of hand, but hey, if the real world fails to deliver, what choice do I have but to prop up the bar and imagine myself away with Edward Cullen? I know I’m not alone and I take comfort in that. I’m just glad no one tried to air-kiss me while I was lost in my Forks based Fantasy. I might not have taken responsibility for biting a neck and screaming: “let’s take this outside, mortal!” I wonder if pretending to be a vampire is banned in Dubai, too?
Posted: 09 April 2009
| Comments: Hi Rebecca, Firstly let me say I love your columns and read them every week - keep them coming! However, I think I slightly disagree with you on the latest article, "Confessions of a Tech-Widow". In today's world there a milion ways of staying in touch with people or with certain aspects of your life. I really doubt your boyfriend is reading anything but work related stuff on his Blackberry. This means he's really focussed on what his career is doing right now. There are people who will not be as deligent in what is happening in their work life and in my experience they are the ones that don't succeed and that are satisfied with not progressing their careers. In the past it was who came to the office first or who left last. In this day and age we can be connected anywhere - even in bed. I'll hasard a guess that your boyfriend is successful and his success means that the life you have with him is quite fulfilling. OK there are times that he shouldn't read his mails, dinner with you, in company, when he should be focussed on you and you alone, and you should speak to him about that. However, checking what's happened in his work world first thing in the morning or any other time of day is not a crime. I think you should cut him some slack and not make him feel guilty for trying to better himself. In fact Rebecca the new Blackberry has a google function that allows you to see exactly where it is. If you buy one and get him to enable his you can keep a track of his every move just to make sure he's not in some seedy internet cafe when he promised he was out playing football!! See everyone's a winner! Keep up the great writing, Chris (addicted to my blackberry too) Posted: Mon, 01 Apr 2009 |
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